Life, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Anthony Bourdain R.I.P.

I was on Facebook today and saw this picture posted by one of my friends. As I near the ripe age of 22 and prepare for my trip next Monday, this quote connected to me a lot:

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Source: Facebook – The Chef’s Circle

Anthony Bourdain was highly admired, a star chef, and a lover of life. He showed us the importance of traveling and adventuring and experiencing another person’s lifestyle. In witnessing his exploration of the world I was taught empathy and passion and a love for food.

Growing up, my mom and I spent little time together as she worked the majority of the day and wouldn’t get home until late at night. Most of the week I was either in school or with my grandparents, where we spent our television time watching game shows or sports. During moments where my mom and I would be able to spend time together at home, we took pleasure in watching Anthony Bourdain’s: No Reservations on the Travel Channel. My mom and I loved his poetic and raw outlook on life, and it was always interesting to see what adventures he experienced. I have many fond memories of us watching his trips together, reacting to the dishes he would eat (how we would want to try this or that someday), laughing at his (sometimes crude, but always real) comments, and wishing to one day go where he has gone.

Anthony Bourdain suffered from heroin addiction when he was younger, the same difficult struggle my late brother battled with. While they were both alive, Anthony Bourdain’s triumphs and long life gave me hope that my brother would beat his addiction and life an equally full life.

He also suffered from depression, but didn’t let that prevent him from experiencing the world as much as he could. I also suffer from depression and other mental health issues, but Anthony gave me hope that the world could be better, that I could accomplish and experience things that I’ve only dreamed of. It saddens me that his battle with depression ended this way.  I was told that he never sought treatment, dealt with it by himself without trying to seek help. I am grateful for the community I grew up in and the information I was given about mental health and depression, to be able to seek and receive treatment. No one should ever be pushed to this point in life, where they feel like there is nowhere to turn to.

For anyone reading this: If you feel like you are alone and have nowhere to turn to, know that there are always options to get the help you need and that there are people out there who will care and support you. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

Anthony Bourdain, you fought your demons for as long as you could and inspired so many people to live their best life. My condolences and best wishes to your family and friends. Thank you for all that you’ve done to bring the world together.

Life, Thoughts

Nostalgic Dreams

During the school year I didn’t have any dreams at all. Ever since moving back home for the summer, I’ve been having really strange dreams.

Last night I woke up twice in the middle of two different dreams, both dealing with things I’ve been working through in my personal life. One of the dreams I don’t remember as clearly, but I’ll share the content of the other.

I had a dream that we were throwing a graduation party in my grandparents’ house, and two of my ex-childhood best friends were there. I haven’t talked to them in a very long time but know that they have graduated from their colleges through pictures on social media.

In the dream, I remember them sitting at a table with me. I was so happy they were back in my life. I remembered one of them was very skeptical about being there, and didn’t want to be celebrating with me. I told them that I had no expectations for our friendship and didn’t care what would result from their visit, just that I was happy to see them and have them in my life again. Then a different person, an old classmate from middle school, came into the room and tried to pick a fight with me. They ended up grabbing a keyboard that was sitting on a table and tried to hit me over the head with it, which is about the time I woke up.

I miss my old childhood friends a lot, but understand that they no longer want me in their lives. I was surprised that when I woke up, I didn’t feel sad. I felt like my dream was trying to tell me something – to cherish the memories that I had made with them, but to move on. The things I said in my dream about just being happy that they were in my life resonated with me. It doesn’t matter how long they were there, it’s the fact that the memories were made in the first place. I should have no expectations about how long people will be in my life. I should just be happy that they were there in the first place and remember that people will come and go.

I think I’ll make a habit of writing down my dreams again in a dream journal. My brother had asked me yesterday about lucid dreaming and whether or not I had ever had one. I have, but it was only once or twice and it was after religiously writing down my dreams every night and working towards the goal of having a lucid dream. I think it would be an interesting goal to have again, at least while I’m on vacation and have the time and ability to do it.

Life, Thoughts

I’m Back!

It has been a LONG while since I’ve posted anything. For the past four-five years I have been busy with school at Mills College in Oakland, California. I’ve decided to try and give my blog another shot, just because I think it’s a good idea to put thoughts into words and ideas into action.

I’ll be writing about a lot of different things – thrifting, my daily life, projects I’m working on, body positivity posts, and things that interest me. To anyone out there that is interested in following my journey, I am grateful for your presence and will try to keep up with posting!

Life, Thoughts

Fame or Passion?

Today’s food for thought:


“People are too focused on being famous. You’re either passionate about being known or are known for how passionate you are. Which are you?” – Keone Madrid


I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to be famous when I grew up. But when I read this quote from one of my favorite hip hop choreographers of all time, Keone Madrid, I seriously started thinking about where my priorities lie. It is true that I am in love with doing multiple things (acting, writing, dancing, making movies) that could lead me to fame and fortune. But I have to remember that I should be doing the things I love because I love doing them, not because they could potentially make me famous. Every now and then my drive and ambition is for the wrong reasons, and I need to make sure I keep my passions above the reward. I don’t know what I’m going to do for a career, but I know in a heartbeat that I will choose a career that makes me feel fulfilled and happy than a job that I hate and makes me a lot of money. Just my two cents.

 

Yours truly,

Jazmyne

Life, Thoughts

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Most everyone in the United States knows who MLK Jr. is. Today is a day dedicated to the remembrance of all those people who fought for equality and the rights of all of humanity. People think that MLK day is just commemorating those who fought for the rights of African Americans. While that is true, one must also consider that the message MLK wanted to spread was the love and respect for ALL types of people. As MLK said in, “Letter from Birmingham Jail”: “Oppressed people cannot remain oppressed forever. The yearning for freedom eventually manifests itself…” and “…we [need] to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood”.
I am not African American. Nor am I lesbian, gay, queer, transgender, or bisexual. I am not poor or disabled in any way. I am a healthy, middle-class, straight, Filipino woman who has an undying love for humanity.
No matter who you are or what background you come from, I urge you to look deep down inside yourself and ask whether you are discriminatory in any way. If you feel that you are, try to change that. MLK’s message of love and acceptance for all people is one we should follow and uphold.
Yours truly,
Jazmyne